Not sure why tears are welling up in my eyes as I type, but they are.
So many emotions.
This does not become second nature. Being a pancreas outside of your body does not become normal. It will never be normal. New normal, old normal. Whatever.
It is not normal to wake up and worry if your son lived through the night.
It is not normal to breathe a sigh of relief when you hear him shut off his morning alarm.
It is not normal to wonder if he made the drive without treating a low.
It is not normal to watch my 20-year-old son with panic in his eyes as he realizes his number is dropping faster than he can catch it.
It is not normal to check your blood sugar every time you eat.
It is not normal to rely on faulty technology to make life-and-death decisions.
It is not normal to think about how heat might affect your numbers.
It is not normal to troubleshoot why insulin would not be working correctly.
It is not normal to fight with insurance to get insulin approved.
None of this is normal.
But we get through it. Every day. Normal or not. We have to.