Tell me, a mom of a boy with Type 1 diabetes, what I am supposed to say when he tells me, “Diabetes stinks!” All I can do is agree, and hide my broken heart.
The other day we were talking about camp and filling in my son’s camp journal. I was helping him because he is too young to do it himself. We got the the question that asks, “How do you feel about having diabetes?” The responses were: It’s ok, it’s not so bad, or it stinks! My son replied, “It stinks!” And then he continued on and said, “Having diabetes stinks because of the site changes, it stinks because I have to stand there while you bolus me, and it stinks because you have to give me insulin for everything I eat.” He continued, “There is nothing fun about having diabetes.”
I was speechless. I told my son that I totally agreed with all of those things. I told him that diabetes stinks and I wish no child ever had to deal with it. But I know these answers are not enough. I have no idea what it feels like to have to count ever morsel of food I put in my mouth. When I am hungry I eat. When my son is hungry, he has to check his sugar, then count carbs, then give himself insulin, then he can start eating. Of course, I do all this for him, but it is him that all this stuff is happening to.
No matter how hard I try, I will never fully grasp what a daunting task this must be for him. At the tender age of 6, my son knows that if he does not have insulin with every meal he will get very sick and could possibly die. What other 6 year old has to grasp that cause and effect? He takes insulin because he wants to stay healthy. That is a huge responsibility. He is only 6.
Everybody can skip some things. You can go to bed without brushing your teeth one night. Another night you can go to bed without taking a bath. Maybe even another night you can skip dinner and just have dessert instead. My son can skip all of these things too. But, he already knows, he cannot ever skip site change day or his numbers will skyrocket making him feel awful. He also knows he cannot skip getting his insulin after every meal no matter how badly he just wants to get up from the table and run and play. He knows these things already. He may want to fight it, and he may say it stinks, because that’s all he really can do.
My little 6 year old son is my hero. Anyone who can get up everyday with the biggest smile on his face ready to conquer the world full well knowing that stinky diabetes is still there is a true hero. Bolusing won’t go away, carb counting won’t go away, diabetes won’t go away, but fortunately neither does my son’s strength. He beats diabetes everyday, no matter how stinky he thinks it is.