Watching your child suffer through the ups and downs of Type 1 diabetes is like watching them get picked on in the corner of the school yard…and there’s nothing you can do about it.
I don’t usually complain about Type 1 diabetes, heck, it’s not my disease, it’s my son’s, but I am really hating Type 1 these last 2 days. For some reason, it could be anything, my son’s insulin needs are changing. His body is calling for more insulin. I know this because almost every number he has had in the last 36 hours has been above range. But because the nature of this disease, I can only make one or two changes at a time, he has to suffer through these highs until we find the right balance again.
I say suffer through them because in the last 36 hours my son has complained of tiredness and a headache, has been really really grumpy and super mean to people around him. He is not normally like this, it is the high numbers that is making his little body feel awful. I can see when I do a correction to get him down, his physical appearance changes within an hour, as soon as the insulin starts bringing the number down. His face lightens, he smiles again, he is nice to his sister again, he wants to play and have fun. The insulin fixes the number and then brings him back to himself.
It will take several days for me to find the balance again. I can make the changes, but I can’t make them too quickly or drastically because then we risk the other end of the spectrum, lows which are also uncomfortable for him, never mind dangerous.
I made changes to his breakfast insulin, so school really has to be on their game tomorrow to watch for lows in the classroom and the hallways. I made changes to his night time insulin, so I have to pull a semi-allnighter to ensure he doesn’t drop too low with the changes. All of this is fine, except while all this is taking place, my son doesn’t feel right…and that’s just not fair!!!
If I could wish for anything it would be for a cure…now. And if a cure were not an option as a wish, I would wish that someone would give me his Type 1 diabetes instead. He is just a little boy. He shouldn’t have to deal with a disease that hurts him in so many ways. He is just a almost 6 year old boy…and he needs a friggin break.