When I was a Special Education teacher I was taught discuss the child first and the disability second. No labeling was what I got out of that. Now that I have a child with diabetes, I tend to follow the same wave of thinking. While Type 1 diabetes is not a disability, it is an autoimmune disease, I still chose to talk about my son first and his disease second. No labeling.
When I talk about my son to people that know him certain images are conjured up in their mind’s eye. These images are as follows:
- very funny
- gorgeous face
- intelligent
- well spoken
- polite
- athletic
- beautiful hair both in color and length
- generous
- caring big brother
- creative
- silly
- sometimes too heavy on the potty humor (ala 6 year old boy)
- good eater
- good conversationalist
These are just a few of the attributes that make up my son. There are many more, too many to list, but I think you get the picture from this list. He is a really good boy, on many different levels.
Now, when you hear the word diabetic on the news or an advertisement there are certain images that are tossed around in your mind’s eye. These images are as follows:
- can’t eat sugar
- overweight
- self-imposed
- random glucose checks
- blindness
- kidney failure
- nerve damage
- must watch what they eat
- elderly
- runs in families
- doesn’t exercise
You may be thinking to yourself that this list is a little harsh, but take a moment next time Wilford Brimley is on the television talking about ‘diabeetus’ supplies. What images are conjured up in your mind? I can guarantee that the first list of my son’s attributes are no where in site. While the entire second list may not enter your mind either, there is definitely more of the second list present, whereas my son’s list isn’t even in the same hemisphere.
I know there are moms of children with Type 1 diabetes that call their children diabetics. That is their choice. I choose to call my son by his given name, and then add in that he has Type 1 diabetes if the situation calls for it.
I choose not to call my son a diabetic for his sake also. I don’t want him to associate himself with the second list either. Yes, complications may be in his far future, and we do test his sugar many, many times a day, but he is so much more. I want him to tell people he is a good swimmer, or a good story teller, or even a bad football player, but I never want him to tell people he is a diabetic. Diabetes does not describe, define, or do justice to any part of my son. To take away my son’s name and to call him a diabetic just seems like a injustice to my son.
My son is not and will never be defined by his diabetes. He is his own person, a fantastic little boy, who happens to have Type 1 diabetes.
Thank you both for reading and responding. I truly appreciate the feedback. You both sound like fantastic moms.
I agree with you on this, for both myself and for my child. I also respect the choice of others to refer to themselves or their kids as diabetic.
Your words reinforce an experiment I do every time this debate comes up. A google image search for “diabetic” yields horrific foot pictures, diagrams of eyes and kidneys, and other scary images (warning: seriously disturbing pics). A google image search for “has diabetes” yields pictures of whole people, some cartoons, and icons.
I cringe when someone calls my son diabetic. I always say “my son has Type 1 diabetes”. Like you said it’s up to each individual how they handle it. But, to me, saying he is diabetic defines him by his disease and he’s so much more than that. Great post.