Predictably unpredictable.

What I find so interesting about Type 1 diabetes is that the only thing that is predictable about it is that it is truly unpredictable.

I check my son’s sugar a minimum of 10 times a day.  Before each check I do a mini run down of the day, last time he ate, last bolus of insulin, amount of activity and then I try to quickly determine the number that is going to be on the meter. If it has been a while since his last meal and last bolus I expect to see a number within range. That would mean to me that his insulin to carb ratio brought him into range after eating and his basal setting was correct thereby  keeping  him in range once he got there. Those are the numbers we like to see, predictably in range.

It’s the other numbers that floor me. If it has been a few hours since his last meal and insulin bolus and I check his sugar and he comes up 290. That is entirely too high for anytime, but especially when there is no more active insulin in his body. Unpredictably out of range.

Then there are the numbers that completely throw me for a loop. After an ordinary dinner of pasta and an ordinary bedtime snack of pudding cup, I  check my son two hours after he has received his last bolus and what I expect to see is a number around 160, but then in such the unpredictable fashion of diabetes, I may see a 32. Then I am sent scrambling through the house grabbing his fast acting drink and whispering him in his slumber to wake him up ever so slightly so that he will drink his liquid sugar and not slip into a seizure.

There is no resting on your laurels when it comes to Type 1 diabetes. At any given moment of anytime of day I can predict my son’s sugar level, and there is an equal chance that I will be right or wrong. I may be right on the money and predict what I hope to see, and then I can be so completely wrong that my son’s number will require immediate intervention of some sort. It is amazing.

I think this is one of the main reasons why Type 1 diabetes is so scary from a mom’s perspective. As my baby sleeps at night, I can only hope that all the settings in his pump are correct and they keep him as close to range as possible. In all honesty, I cannot rely on the predictability of Type 1 diabetes to know that his number will remain in range and keep him safe all night.

It is the certainty of this unpredictability that keeps me checking my son through the night when I am supposed to be sleeping. I need to stay one step ahead of the irrational behavior of his blood sugars to keep him safe and healthy.

I know the unpredictability will slow down as he finishes growing. Somewhere around 21. But until then it’s the certainty of the unpredictability that keeps me going…oh and very strong coffee.